The Girl Who Cried Dream Job

   I come to you today as a recently laid off 28-year-old. I also come to with more prospective, higher standards and believe it or not more, clarity. You may remember that I was hired as a Digital Merchandising Assistant during the late part of last year by a major retailer. I was so excited about the job and the fact that the company gave me a shot. I felt like I was finally on the right track to achieving my dreams, but the ride was cut short. The company I worked for did some “restructuring” and I was let go. Yup, it sucked, but not as much as I thought it would.

   The company gave those who were laid off a pretty nice package so money wouldn’t be an issue for a while. To be honest losing your job is hard but the security of still getting paid takes a lot of the sting out. Knowing that money would not be an immediate problem, I went into this new chapter with the ideas of rest and rejuvenation at the forefront of my mind. I knew that I would not even think about applying for another job for at least a week. This may not sound like a long time but for someone who puts a lot of their life value in working that is an eternity. My body and mind were exhausted. The choice to take this well needed break was not so much my choice as it was everything within me and around me telling me to rest. I could easily clock 50 hours a week at my full-time job and then another 16 hours at my part time job. Do the math. It was no surprise that my mind skipped panic and planning when I was let go and went straight to “yayy now we can sleep!”

   That one or two week rest period I said I was going to take quickly turned into a month. My first month of unemployment was filled with sleeping late, show binges and self-care. I made a list of things I wanted and needed to do. I did this so I could make sure I wasn’t wasting this time. I feel like this period of unemployment is a blessing and no blessing should ever be wasted. I also wanted to make sure I was holding myself accountable. Let’s be honest sleeping late is great but there is no reason one should be sleeping past 3:00pm. We are now in the first week of March and its crunch time. I have to face the reality that I have to do something I hoped I would never have to do again, apply for jobs.

   Although searching for employment is one of my least favorite things to do, this time feels a little different. I cannot quite put my finger on it, but I think it is a combination of a few changes in my life. One I don’t need a job right away. Yes, I will need need a job soon but for now I’m ok. Every other time I have been on the hunt for a new job it was because I needed one! This time the desperation is not there. I am also more confident about my abilities. I know that I am a hard worker, passionate about my work and a fast learner. I know what I am worth to employers and I refuse to work for less than that. The biggest difference is that I have decided to trust fate because obviously I can’t control it. I had no intentions of ever leaving my previous employer, but the universe had other plans. I am trusting the process. I am sure that there will be moments of uncertainly and self-doubt, but I am enjoying their absence for now.

I’m not sure where this new path will take me, but I know for a fact that I always end up right where I belong.

Xoxo,

Sigourneyb